Ahh...I wish I had more hours in a day. But anyway....hello again. Today has been pretty good. This whole week hasn't been too bad actually. I went to get my massage wednesday (my neck is killing me...still), and the lady said that I look really good. The yellow is almost gone. The only place she saw it was in my feet some. Yay!

It's so weird, I'm actually still kind of happy with how I look. I sort of worry myself that I'm still spending a little too much time in front of the mirror...but now the other way. Oh well, I'm not going to worry about it too much. If I am I know it will swing back to normal eventually. I think it's just that I've hated my body for so long and now I don't all the time. I get kind of excited.

I have had this rather strange underlying feeling the last couple days. I don't feel like I'm going to freak or lose it or anything like that. There's just a level of uncertainty. Like I'm not quite sure how I like all of this (which I know sounds weird after the above paragraph). I'm a lot better, but there's still that residual "I've put on enough weight thank you and I don't care to put on anymore". Now of course, that's not an option...it's left over stupid-ness swirling around in the brain. I feel like I'm getting ready to tread on some unstable and forgotten ground. It's kinda of hard to put properly.

okay, well I have more to say, but I'm really tired so it will have to wait. Good night.