My Bible study hit me right between the eyes today. It's disgusting how, as things start to get better, I start to become so independent. It's like I start to take credit for the fact that things have gotten better. As if I could possibly have ANYTHING to do with the fact that I'm beginning to walk in freedom from these sinful eating habits. The very idea is completely asinine. Did I forget that only a few short weeks ago I was entirely helpless in my condition and if my savior hadn't stepped in and plucked me from the mire of habitual sin that I would still be there? How in the world did I allow myself to consider that? Now, I'm not saying that I thought out any of this. I didn't go "okay, now that God has done all this, I'm going to take some credit for myself." It just sort of creeped in. My spirit wants nothing more than total dependence and surrender to God, but my flesh is wayward in it's very nature. It desires independence and glory. Essentially, it's pride. And it always comes before a fall.
So, what to I do now in order to put God back in His rightful place? I seek His voice. Nothing in my flesh can survive the power of His voice. If I obey the voice of God, my flesh (desires, lusts, whatever) will die, but if I don't...eventually my spirit crumble.
It's only by His grace that I am learning to walk in freedom and who am I to take credit for something only He can do?
"Beware that you do not forget the LORD your God by not keeping His commandments, His judgments, and His statutes which I command you today, "lest--when you have eaten and are full, and have built beautiful houses and dwell in them; "and when your herds and your flocks multiply, and your silver and your gold are multiplied, and all that you have is multiplied; when your heart is lifted up, and you forget the LORD your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage." Deut 8:11-14
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