Another Step

Well, here's the next 100 calorie jump. Today I'm supposed to make it to 1800. I think it can be done. I slipped a notch yesterday, but I didn't plummet. I woke up yesterday and almost immediately I had that familiar irrational, freaked out, out of control feeling. I pushed through the best I could without really freaking myself out because I knew that would just make things worse. So, I ended up cutting some corners. I didn't eat quite all of my lunch, I didn't have all of my smoothie.

When I told mom she didn't freak or anything. It's a process, but it can't happen again today (and it won't, today's already better). I think something that helped me not plummet was that I got permission to go away next weekend to some friends' house. They live about an hour and a half away and my mom can't go to make sure I eat. She wasn't sure if she was going to let me go because of the food thing. In the end she said I could, but I have to eat. Anyway, this trip has given me something else to work towards. I know that if I lose between now and next weekend, I'm not going to be allowed to go. Since I really want to go, it will be helpful if I don't mess up too bad. I think going away for a weekend will be a good test for me. My friends know what I'm dealing with, so they'll be able to keep on my butt about it if I start acting up.

Overall, I'm still seeing steady improvement in my attitude and how I feel physically. My energy is so much better, I'm able to enjoy things again like being with my friends (really enjoy them), on occasion I'm actually enjoying the food I eat too. I had forgotten how much I liked chocolate. My dad (who didn't think I was yellow to begin with) even said that my color is better. The food plan is helping a lot. I'm very reliant on it right now. It really helps to have something that sets up guide lines and boundaries, even if it totally and completely sucks the first two weeks.