Don't think now, Take the Road

"And Peter . . . walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid." Matthew 14:29-30
The wind was actually boisterous, the waves were actually high, but Peter did not see them at first. He did not reckon with them, he simply recognized his Lord and stepped out in recognition of Him, and walked on the water. Then he began to reckon with the actual things, and down he went instantly. Why could not our Lord have enabled him to walk at the bottom of the waves as well as on the top of them? Neither could be done saving by recognition of the Lord Jesus.
We step right out on God over some things, then self-consideration enters in and down we go. If you are recognizing your Lord, you have no business with where He engineers your circumstances. The actual things are, but immediately you look at them you are overwhelmed, you cannot recognize Jesus, and the rebuke comes: "Wherefore didst thou doubt?" Let actual circumstances be what they may, keep recognizing Jesus, maintain complete reliance on Him.
If you debate for a second when God has spoken, it is all up. Never begin to say - "Well, I wonder if He did speak?" Be reckless immediately, fling it all out on Him. You do not know when His voice will come, but whenever the realization of God comes in the faintest way imaginable, recklessly abandon. It is only by abandon that you recognize Him. You will only realize His voice more clearly by recklessness.

That lovely was written by Oswald Chambers as the June 18th entry of My Utmost for His Highest. I read that last night after all the craziness. I know I am so not there yet, but it's some places I want to get.

This problem is real and I am actually dealing with this. Running from it isn't going to help and hiding is just a band aid. Focusing on Jesus is what's going to get me through. It's easier said than done, but with training it can be. Training doesn't happen all at once. Just like training your body doesn't happen all at once. It takes time and practice. I have to remind myself that I'm not going to go from sick to well in six weeks...this is a process. I shouldn't be beating myself up when I slip. I just have to work through and keep going, keep training. Also, it's not something that my mind can make happen. Just like training the body, you can't think your way to improvement, it takes training. So, reckless abandon is the prize and goal...but right here is the training ground.